That line you just crossed… that was one of my boundaries
November 10, 2011
One of the uniting factor among the very best of my friends is that no matter how different we are, there is a strong respect for each other’s boundaries.
Yes – I know it’s shocking in this day of social media and the dearth of privacy that I have boundaries but what can I say… it is how I was raised.
I have a personal moral code (and no you don’t have to agree with it; it’s not yours, it’s mine.) I also have a strong sense of what actions I am okay with and what I do not want to do. When someone starts pushing at those boundaries without a damn good reason, then I have a problem.
No one else gets to make the decisions about what I am going to do. That’s my choice. And it’s my choice to live with the consequences of those decisions.
Peer pressure only works on people who care what the person putting on the pressure thinks about them. Since I’m the only one I have to look at in the mirror, that means I’m in the only person whose opinion I really care about. Don’t get me wrong, I also don’t want to bring shame upon my family. Because again, that was how I was raised. But mostly, beyond that tacit agreement I’m in with the government and the basic communal standards I adhere to as a part of society (I like how Penn Jillette spelled them out)… I’m pretty much master of my own destiny.
It’s been a while since someone really tried to shove me into doing something I don’t want to do. When it happened today, I had a lovely realization. After sending a message that I would not acquiesce to the given demand, I made the decision that if the pressure continued then I would simply cut the person off. Push me too far and I won’t push back. I will walk away.
I’m fairly certain this goes back to my inability to haggle. In the end, it’s an all or nothing kind of thing.
After all, if I don’t defend my own boundaries, who will?
It’s kind of my job.
I take my job seriously. Actually I take most things seriously. It’s who I am.
I’m okay with that.